Wednesday, August 3, 2011

She Kills People or My Life Is A Joke

 My mother always loved to work in the outdoors. She had spent ten years working as a volunteer at the local park. She did everything from weeding and mowing to planting and watering. The park even gave her a pin with her name on it.

But after ten years she decided to retire from her volunteer position. I wasn't surprised when the park's Board of Directors wanted to have a retirement party.  My mother asked me to attend with her.

Arriving, we discovered my mother would be seated at the front table with the Board of Directors.  I found an empty seat at one of the small tables with three other guests already seated at it.
"I'm Josie's daughter," I said.

The women seated on either side of me moved hastily to the table next to us.

I looked at the remaining woman seated across the table from me. She gave me a tentative smile.

"You don't look like a killer," the woman whispered.

"A what?" I squeaked.

 "Your mother told us her daughter kills people," the woman whispered.

My mother was the sweetest woman you'd ever meet. But  - you knew there was going to be a but didn't you? - she had the wickedest sense of humor.

I'm still not sure if I convinced that poor woman that I only kill people on paper.

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