New Panzerism

If only you knew.

Ten things your cat would say if you could understand:

10) This cat food is lame! I want something that squirms when I put it in my mouth.

9) This isn't a broken vase. It's just been molecularly rearranged.

8) No! You chase the mouse-mouse.

7) You get the pot of gold, I get the leprechaun.

6) Diamond ring? That shiny thing? In my litter box? Never saw it.

5) I'm not fat! I'm insulated.

4) There is no such thing as a bad kitty. Just judgmental humans.

3) Do I know what happened to the parakeet? No.

2) That was your toothbrush? Oh, I thought it was a caterpillar.

1) The one thing humans do understand when cats speak: Ack! Ack! Ack! Fur ball!