A Panzerism

 Panzer on the human idea of closure:

 

Mom's goldfish Molly died. Mom says she wants closure.

 

Silly idea. Cats don't waste their time that way.

 

Mom. Molly was a goldfish.

Humans should understand each moment passes away forever. It's gone. There's no way to enter the past.

 

The past is like water disappearing down the toilet with Molly. She's gone to some unknown unknowable place.

 

A better place for Molly? Perhaps. 

A Panzerism

 Panzer on the human misconception of their own importance:

 

Mon told me that if parents compliment children it boosts their confidence.

She said that's a good thing.

 

But ...

 

She needs to learn you don't ever compliment a cat.

N o-o-o-o ... a real bad idea.

 

Good kitty. You're kidding right?

Cats will always take such sentiments and turn them into moments of disbelief

and ... then hilarity.

 

How dare a mere human ... an inferior species to cats ... pass judgement on us ...

with statements like "Good Kitty" and "What a smart boy."

 

 

 

 

From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

You expected something different?*

Panzer on a canine's true value:

 

Let sleeping dogs lie ...

 

 After all they're dogs ...

 

That's all they're good for,

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

 Panzer on human narcissism:

 

I have joined Mom and What's His Name at backyard barbecues for the Fourth of July with neighbors, for coffee and tea on the deck for New Year's morning, and holiday season dinners with their families.

You can't change what is.*

 

One thing stands out to me at these gatherings:

 

Mom is always the second most attractive creature there.

 

Too bad she has such an attractive cat over shadowing her.

 

 

  

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

Panzer on human confusion: 

 

He's always on my not good side.

What's His Name told me it's a three dimension world.

 

But I know he's wrong.

 

There are only two ...

 

My good side ...

And the side you don't want to be on. 

 

 

A Panzerism

 Panzer on self-confidence:

 

Are you kidding? I am CAT.*

What?

 

Self-confidence?

 

I don't need that.

 

I am CAT.

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

Panzerism

Panzer on board games:

 

I love playing checkers with Mom and What's His Name.

 

Especially that part where the noble jungle kitty sneaks through the tall carpet grass.

 

He waits patiently.

 

He slithers forward ...

 

and ...

 

You're free! Fly away!*

pounces on the checker board where all the plastic pieces take flight

 

like ...

 

a herd of butterflies.

 

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

 Panzer on the Creator's creations:

 

The Creator only made a certain number of perfect creations.

 

Ones ...

 

with fur ...

 

with tails ...

See ... No thumbs.*

 

with pointy ears ...

 

and the extraordinary ability to purr.

 

The others he gave opposable thumbs. 

 

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

Panzer on the Zen of teaching cats:

 

When you tell a dog to sit,

it means he can relax and get off

his feet for a minute.

 

But ...

if you tell a cat to sit, 

that cat has to wake up, stretch,

Listen to me ... It's not going to happen*.

and ...

then get up to sit.

 

So I think you can take sit off the list of things to teach a cat to do.

 

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

Did you pay the bill yet?*

Panzer on the look of innocence:

 

Oh. Your credit card bill came today?

 

Who joined the Catnip of the Month Club?

 

 Hmmm ...

 

How would I know?

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

Sorry this is late. For whatever reason Blogger is denying me access to my graphics and photos file today. So, I uploaded one from computer. (If my post is wonky, blame Blogger.) Hopefully, it'll be fixed soon.

* * * * * * * * * *  

 

*Panzer on recorded history:

 

I really need a kitty-sized collar camera.

 

Then ...

 

I could capture wonderful leaps, acts of amazing balance,

 

It's magic.

then ...

 

feats of startling magic,

 

when ...

 

a hairball appears without warning.

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for human 

A Panzerism

Panzer on teaching your human:

 

 What's His Name wants me to get off his coat.

 

I told him no ...

 

Twice.

 

It's why cats have claws.

What we have here is a teachable moment.

 

Focus ...

 

This is important:

 

No means NO! 

A Panzerism

It takes practice.

Panzer on empathy:

 

You must open your heart to feel

As you must open your eyes to see.

 

Usually, I just jump on anything that moves and rip it apart.

 

 

 

 *From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Panzerism

Panzer on sobriety:

 

The thing about catnip is, 

If there's enough, I can start right now.

well ...

 

Mom thinks I should go on the wagon for a little while.

 

Okay ...

 

Exactly how much catnip is in the wagon anyway?

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

Monday Panzerism

Because of stormy weather today we lost power, so we're late posting. Hopefully, we'll be back to our regular schedule tomorrow.

 

*** 

 

 Panzer on sobriety:

 

The thing about catnip is,

 

If there's enough, I can start now.

well ...

 

Mom thinks I should go on the wagon for a little while.

 

Okay.

 

Exactly how much catnip is in the wagon anyway?

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans 

Monday Panzerism

 

Wasted ... wasted ... time.*

Panzer on human misuse of language:

 

Mom is always telling me to be a good kitty.

 

I did that once.

 

 That was a wasted three minutes.

 

 

 

  

 *From Cat Wisdom for humans

Your New Puzzle: Then what happened?

Hint

Here's your Sunday jigsaw puzzle.

 

Remember at the puzzle site to click the square in the lower left corner to see the finished puzzle.

 

This one is harder than usual.

 

Have fun!

 

To do the puzzle tootle over to Then what happened? 

A Monday Panzerism

 Panzer on theology:

 

I usually avoid controversy ...

 

but ...

 

I will say this: 

 

Only good dogs go to heaven ...

 

I can just see it right now.

All cats go to heaven ...

 

and ...

 

Pizza will be on the menu in heaven

 

Served by good dogs on roller skates. 

A Monday Panzerism

 Panzer on anger management:

 

The armchair is fair game!

I will not claw the couch.

I will not claw the couch.

I will not claw the couch.

 

But Mom didn't say anything about the armchair! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Cat Wisdom for humans 

A Monday Panzerism

 Panzer on tranquility:

 

I believe in the Universal Chaos Theory. 

You know ...

 

Or ... I can do it for you.*

that theory when you humans say everything should be in chaos.

 

So ...

 

If things aren't chaotic in your life ...

 

You should try harder to be like everybody else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans