A New Panzerism

Panzer on being unreasonable:

It really snowed last night. There's at least ten inches on the ground.

Mom told What's His Name she was calling work to tell them she wasn't coming in.

What's His Name said he'd drive her there.

Mom said, no, they should both stay home and be safe.

What's His Name said, everybody at work would make fun of him, if he didn't go in because of a little snow.

And ... he said, there's insurance on the car anyway.

Mom still said, no.

Macho Man equals Stupid Man.

What's His Name went out to leave. Him and the car slid down the driveway and into the neighbor's front porch.

Turns out ...

There might be insurance on the car,

But ... There isn't insurance on stupid.

A New Panzerism

Panzer on keeping pets:

The three main reasons to keep pets:

1) Teaches responsibility;

One heartbeat away from the curb.

2) Teaches unselfishness;

3) Teaches cleanliness.

All true.

But mostly I just keep Mom around to feed me. Otherwise, I'd dump her in a heartbeat.*


*Reprint from Cat Wisdom for humans

A New Panzerism

Panzer on ways to save money:

Today, I heard Mom and What's His Name talking. Mom said they need to save money for Christmas presents.

What's His Name said my cat food is the really expensive kind

and ...

she should change my cat food to the cheap stuff to save money.

I could catch him some spiders.

Well ... I know how What's His Name could save money.

I've heard bugs are a good source of protein.

Maybe ... What's His Name needs to change his diet to save money.

A Special Panzerism

It takes practice.

Panzer on empathy:

You must open your heart to feel
As you open your eyes to see.

Usually ...

I just jump on anything that moves and rip it apart.