A Monday Panzerism

Panzer on moral concepts:

Mom said, "Bad kitty," when I scratched the furniture.

You know ...

What's His Name always says Mom is pretty smart.

So, I thought about what Mom said for a long time in between my morning nap and my noon nap.

And ...

This is what I decided:

Sorry ... You're wrong again, Mom.*

There are two ways to look at it,

My way ...

And ...

The wrong way.

From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Day After Christmas Panzerism

 Panzer on the Christmas holiday:

The dent? The big guy with the reindeer.*

Do I think those look like my paw prints on the hood of the care?

Noooo ...

From here I'd say they're reindeer prints.

*From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Monday Panzerism

 Panzer on the human misconception of their importance:

I'm still not listening.

I went to the vet today.

She cleaned my ears.

I can hear much better now.

But that doesn't mean I'll do what you say.

From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on tranquility:

I believe in the universal chaos theory.

You know ...

Or ... I can do it for you.*

that theory when you humans say everything should be in chaos.

So ...

If things aren't chaotic in your life ...

You should try harder to be like everybody else.

*From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on forgiveness:

What's His Name stepped on my food dish this morning. Knocked the whole thing upside down.

Food everywhere ...

and ...

now the food's covered with dirt and whatever else was on the bottom of his shoe. I couldn't believe it. He just scooped it up and put it back in my bowl.

Like I'd eat it now.

Mom told me to settle down. She said it was just an accident and I need to forgive him.

Okay ... Okay. I'm all right now.

 

So I'm using my new kitty mantra to calm down.

To err is human.

To forgive is just plain stupid.

To err is human.

To forgive is ...

*From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on the ancient art of studying the back side of your eyelids:

Stay drowsy. Life's better.*

Life is what happens when you wake up

and ...

can't go back to sleep ...

It's over-rated.

*From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

To forgive them is just plain stupid.

Panzer on cat knowledge:

To err is human ...

A Panzerism

 Panzer on sobriety:

The thing about catnip is,

 

well ...

 

If there's enough, I can start right now.*

Mom said I should go on the wagon for a little while. 

Okay ...

Exactly how much catnip is in the wagon anyway?

*From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

Panzer on human indecisiveness:

Mom is always saying be a good kitty. I wish she'd make up her mind.

Which do you want?

Which is it:

good

or

kitty?

* From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on love:

The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference.

You want love? Get a dog.

Feed me and Ill stop being indifferent ...

towards you ...

 

for a while ...

 

maybe.

 

 

 

 

*From Cat Wisdom for humans

Mystery Fanfare: Cartoon of the Day: Cats

 Panzer was tootling around in the Catosphere when he heard laughing and giggling outside the Panzermobile. 

 

It's a dream job.

Following the jocularity, took our traveling kitty to the Mystery Fanfare site. There he found a Cat Cartoon was causing all the fun.

 

Enjoy.

To read the cartoon tootle over to Mystery Fanfare Cartoon

A Panzerism

Putooeh!

 Panzer on spiritual growth:

The path to enlightenment is filled with things that taste bad.

* From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on cat behavior:

Get it?

Humans wonder why cats run around with their tails straight up in the air and bushed out.

Well ...

You got a better way of checking catmospheric conditions?

From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on the basic cat tenet:

None. Got it? *

Cats do not behave badly ...

because ...

there are no rules for cats.

* From Cat Wisdom for humans

Cartoon of the Day: Cats - Mystery Fanfare

 

My work is finished for the day.

Here's something to brighten up your coming weekend.

 

Panzer found this cartoon at the Mystery Fanfare site.

 

To read the cartoon tootle over to Cartoon of the Day: Cats:

A New Panzerism

 Panzer on cat personalities:

If reading the above subject line didn't give you a clue, ...

 

read it again.

Still didn't get it?

Cats don't have personalities.

 

But ...

Saying we have catalities is too awkward.

Still don't get it?

 

So ...

Let's just say ...

The noble feline is known for its incredibly cute sequences of adorable behaviorisms.

A Panzerism

Yuk!

Panzer on color coding:

Note to self: Remember, white paint does not taste like milk.

A New Panzerism

 Panzer on cat wisdom:

Always be sure to have a second cat in your household.

That way ...

You can always ...

Blame ...

the hairball on someone else.

Note to self:

Never take credit for a hairball.

Even the really good ones.

Just speaking from experience.

A Panzerism

 

Yuk! *

Panzer on color coding:

Note to self: 

 

Remember ...

 

White paint does not taste like milk.

* From Cat Wisdom for humans

A Panzerism

 Panzer on multitasking:

I just can't get the hang of it.

I've tried it more than once.

And it's really, really hard.

I've tried to eat and sleep at the same time.

 

Eyes closed.

 

At least the bowl is full.*

Nose first into the full bowl of food.

 

Wake up.

Just can't get it right.

But I'll keep trying.

* From Cat Wisdom for humans